Tuesday, August 23, 2005

magic carpets

Y'know,I was quite worried about coming to the Middle East. I thought maybe there would be muslims and stuff. and that some of them might try to incite me to fundamentalism and terrorism and carrying backpacks and stuff.
but y'know what? this is aleppo and it's bloody fantastic. not a carbomb in sight. the people are friendly, i have been given more free stuff from a couple of mates i made in Aleppo uni than i know what to do with, they've fed me awesome food and taken me around Aleppo to all the most interesting spots. One of them has just taken my dad to a turkish bath.
and they aren't even after my wirginity! no camels being offered, no lechery, just genuinely interesting and friendly people.

go figure.

incidentally,the dead sea is a weird weird sensation.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

research project

y'know, i heart Nick Griffin. He's a person 'just like me', striving for a better britain. now, i'm not gonna link that because i can't be arsed to send any traffic his way, but for those of you who don't know him in that special way i do, Nick runs a political party in the UK that aims to help people like you and me understand why Islam is 'a threat to us all'. But he is quick to add that he isn't an islamophobe like nasty Tony Blair. Oh no. in their own countries they can do what they like. but yet Tony Blair's pants are on fire because he says that islam is a religion of peace. Nick knows his stuff - this is a BARE FACED LIE. But Tony is mean and wants to bomb out the whole of the middle east.

Now. Nick, I really do go for you, you know that. I mean, sure, I'm a light green gay chick who doesnt think that the new Mosque being built in Cardiff is a 'symbol of domination' and I do feel that the emphasis of news stories on your website where three evil evil black men attacked an innocent white woman is probably missing the issue a little, but i still care. but it's probably because i'm a treehugging hippy. whatevs.

But i am confused about what you are trying to tell me here. Y'know? Tony Blair is a liar, sure. But you tell me he lies about Islam being a peaceful religion but then you're the one coming out all shiny on it while he's bombing the evil arabs.

Anyways, am off to do my own research in Arabland. I will send you a postcard.

Incidentally, why do you have this nobbish poster in your political website merchandise section?

Monday, August 08, 2005

sound advice

Saturday, August 06, 2005


flickr's not working. it's been down all day. i know this because i started checking it at 8 am this morning and continued sporadically throughout and now it's 9pm and still nothing. come to think of it, it was a bit ill yesterday too.

you have no idea of the trauma this is causing me. for reals. i mean, it's not like i have friends or a life or anything outside my camera.

know what? am just gonna have to post a bunch of photos here instead. and that's so not what this is about. it's also not as easy and i'll just whack em up on flickr when it returns. but because flickr wasnt working i went OUTSIDE and took photos. just to help me through the pain, y'know?

but what if it doesnt return? what am i going to do???

the horror. it doesn't bear thinking about. i don't really think you'd understand. well, boud would probably get it. and maybe leigh and monkey

but no-one feels my pain RIGHT NOW.


Friday, August 05, 2005

oompa loompa

long hair, check.

glasses, check.

wan complexion, check.

slightly insane, check.

crazy high pitched voice and unnervingly girlish laugh, check.

tendency towards the packing of fudge, check.

your conclusion.

Thursday, August 04, 2005


yesterday i climbed mount kilimanjaro before dawn, went back to sydney and caught up with some friends, did Fraser Island and dived the Engala. Then i went on the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, walked along the Great Wall of China, took in the terracotta warriors before having a smorgasbord near a fjord and watching the Aurora Borealis. and now I may well be off to trundle around Maya ruins before slamming a few tequilas in Cancun.

shit dammit i wish i wish i wish i had won that sodding £77 million on the lottery last weekend. i even bought a ticket, for about the second time in my life. and all of these ubercool trips are out of my reach right now. gah. a day trawling travel brochures and dealing with the cowboys that are STA and still nothing.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

commando betty

why do i do this to myself? ok, so my job is currently arse boring. this morning, i poured myself out of bed into running gear, hit the road for a half hour, came back, showered and realised i was running late. so I donned the first skirt i found, which happens to have a metal zip to the hip. and black stilettoes and a low cut red top (just for clarity of your mental picture). i look hot. cope.
i also forgot to wear underwear. ok, so *forgot* isn't quite how it happened, it's just i was running late and well.. these things occasionally slip my mind. you know how it is.

i just got asked if i was working in a lapdancing club.

and now that i have perfected my slut-secretary look i am haunted by sordid images of Maggie Gyllenhaal. horny horny horny.

but i am already contravening a billion office policies by blogging, i reckon furtive porn searches or workwanking would not go down too well. i gotta content myself with filthy thoughts.

every 6 seconds or so.

jeez, having a job sucks.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

girls! kissing! yaaaaaaaaaaay!

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ok ok, so this is totally gratuitous titillation to woo you blogwhores to me. and you know, if nothing else will do it, i reckon girls kissing is a winner, non?
winner anyway.


going blonde

seriously, what is it about pastel? it's fucking with my head. today, i got out of bed, facing a relatively normal day. and i decided to wear a skirt in celebration of the half-assed sun we're having. so i teamed that with a cute pair of purple strappy heels, a baby blue slash neck top and then somehow grabbed the candyfloss pashmina on the way out. here i have to add that i didn't buy this, it was a gift from my girlfriend because she's not vom-inducingly cute like wot i am. haha. i also have to add that i do love it because it distracts people from the dyke crop and rippling six pack i got going on. ok, so i lied about the six pack. in fact, if i could be arsed, i would have done one of those crossy out html doodas that nads is embracing. but i didn't, can't, don't care. shut up yeah.
anyway. pastel. stop distracting me.
candy pink, powder blue, a little bit of bleach in my hair and i've dropped about 100 IQ points. i just nearly walked into a hanging basket while attempting to walk and apply sparkly DiorKiss lipgloss at the same time. man, it sucks being stupid.
anyway, i gotta get back to filing my nails doing something really intellectually stimulating. actually i'm photocopying. shit you not.
mwah mwah.