Sunday, July 31, 2005


Beauty salons across London have reported a devastating drop in profits since the Metropolitan Police started doing Brazilians for free.

ok, ok, sick joke. i know it. but just imagine what pictures i could have put with it and realise my restraint.

it's all fucked, hey.

i'm gonna go on a tangent here.. again, indulge me. i know, you're thinking 'so fucking what?'. i know this because even my gf has admitted to doing that at certain bollocks blogs, and well, it doesn't get more rock bottom than my inspired bullshit. but anyways. RBB is checking out. again. you know, you love it, you've been with me half way back from around the world. you do you do you do. and now i have just over a month before i start The Job. I am not a shelfstacker, i am not a shelfstacker, i am not a shelfstacker. hmmm... methinks RBB doth protest too much. bollocks.
ah fuck it, people, who's coming on holiday? I wanna go next week, and i don't really give a toss where. ok, so ideally i wanna come back to Sydney, but it'll just hurt too much right now. so up for grabs are Mozambique, Mexico and... Melksham? nah, maybe scrub that last one. but you get my point. i wanna go away and in some inexplicable break from tradition, i am on the hunt for a travel buddy. but then, maybe i'll just go solo again if i can't persuade anyone in the next week. let me know..

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

this is all i want to say about today. the nacho knows.  Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

yeah, felt like chuckin this one up cos it not of flickr. yet. that may change next time i get bored, but y'know tomorrow i have work *gasp*. So, any of y'all in Cardiff tomorrow feel like coming to Debenhams i can give you a makeover. boys too, eh.  Posted by Picasa
today's photo. i think i may turn this into a photo blog, when i have the chance. so, a little out of date, but only a week old, this is Winchester Cathedral. Reflected in the sunglasses of my mate Erika. Who is True Blue, but over here for summer. Hooray! Posted by Picasa


Just got back from a 2 day selection centre. Can't tell you what for, that would be giving too much away, but one of our challenges was to get a postcard

and cut a hole in it big enough for a person to step through. step through as in get their whole body through it.

so, i pass on the challenge. you can't use tape/glue or anything, just a pair of scissors and one postcard.

i love these team building things. so much cheesy motivational stuff. last selection centre i went to we had to come up with an advert for the Multie - a tie that changes to co-ordinate with your outfit. and we had to use Bohemian Rhapsody as our feem choon.
maybe i should get a job in HR and move into selection centre organisation...

Saturday, July 16, 2005

toby didn't die.

On June 30 2005, Toby was meant to die. But he didn't.
His life has been prolonged to November 6th 2006, in the name of mercenariness. Is that a word? whatevs..

Anyway, the point is this, we all KNEW it was totally mercenary to put a ransom on a poor bunny's life, but I don't believe that those guy's will actually kill that bunny if they don't meet the target by the given date anymore. Faith lost. Therefore, what is the point?

I feel cheated.

Friday, July 15, 2005

alert.. alert...

hey, check it out, we've gone from Bert, to Bert-Ernie!



Today i went to a new world. serious, it was like suburbia only magnified, intensified into something bordering on scary: Parc Seymour.
Average age of the residents is about 74. every lawn is groomed, every flowerborder co-ordinating. i got on the bus and didnt have the right cash, so the driver chatted to me, took me to town, let me off somewhere he shouldn't, waited until i'd hit a cashpoint and then charged me a kid's rate. i saw him again a while later and he tooted his horn. OK, all you cityfolk, WHEN does this ever happen in real life?

and then, on the bus, people talked to each other. people who had never met and were unlikely to see each other again. smiling. chatting. catching each other's eye, and not in a 'i'm a nutjob about to steal your bag' kinda way. scary...
this one guy asked me why i was going to Parc Seymour, given that I was 50 years too young. I told him I was going to visit my Nan. He commented that I would probably get sandwiches cut into triangles, a bit of cake and tea served in a cup with a saucer.

I got sandwiches cut into triangles, a bit of cake and tea served in a cup with a saucer. because everybody who lives in Parc Seymour is the same.

Random people said hello to me.

And the whole place smelled curiously of cucumber and lavender.

I also saw Tony Parry. Now, Tony Parry used to drive a greengrocer's van around my neighbourhood when I was about 5. Y'know, like in Postman Pat, a little van that cruises around the houses and brings fresh fruit and veg.
Tony Parry still drives that van. He goes to my nan's. He even brings her order in and puts it in the fridge for her. He smiled at me, said hello, didn't for a second equate tousleheaded superchick with the 5 year old that he used to have to help climb up into his van because she really liked the smell of cardboard and fresh fruit. He looks the same though. Bit older, bit greyer, but essentially the same.

This place cannot be real. there is no real place like this, except maybe one of those miniature villages like the Borrowers squatted in.

maaaaan, i need to get off the pills.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

back by popular request

i'm sorry. no really, i am. i have been neglectful. well, whatevs, i'm back now.

hug me.

so, i can tell you're all just gagging to know where i've been and expecting tales of adventure, danger and sexual frisson.

first off, i haven't left the country again. still here.

second, i still don't have a job. go figure.

BUT, it has been an interesting couple of weeks. y'know, i didnt want to come on here and gloat and brag and act all smug about Glastonbury, i really didnt. I wouldnt do that. so i didnt mention it. just one of those mostawesomeweekendspossibleeverever kinda affairs. low key, y'know? i wont mention how i bounced along to the Basement Jaxx, how fizzly Ms Manson gets me, the joys of flooding and mudding and trying to squeeze two people into a sleeping bag. or pear cider and people on stilts and the Goldie Lookin Crew.
hey, i might even post a pic or two, just so you can get a feel for it.

and then... what then? oh yeah, couple more interviews n stuff, met up with some chickybabe from Perth, arranged to go to London for the day to see the new Frida Kahlo expo, London blew up.

all ok here. so far, everyone i know also ok. hope you are too.

so after all that manic chasing of friends to make sure they were safe, i had a couple of mates over and spent a rather filthy sunday nekkid in my garden.
*was that too much info??*

naaah, too much info would be blogging the pics i took, hey. hehe..

anyways, now it's the middle of July. What are YOU up to?

nothing to be done.