Today, in my trawl through yet more graduate job seeker magazines, I came across an article about how guerilla internet search tactics on employees are causing trouble - some chick lost her job because she slated her company on Friends Reunited and some guy had a blog parody of life as a Waterstones employee and he got fired too.
That must suck.
So, Mr Guerilla Employer, if you have managed to trace me here and have the balls to actually use the guff that I churn out on a not-so-regular basis as an indication of what I would actually be like as one of your worker drones, here is some food for thought:
I have a 2.1 Honours Arts degree from one of the best universities in the world.
My name is not actually Red Betty Black and I would not require that on my nametag.
I have raced in a number of international and high profile varsity events including the Commonwealth Games. Incidentally, not only am I a varsity cox, demonstrating my admirable leadership and team skills, I was called upon to be Women's Captain of Boats for my college when the current captain had a crisis and had to leave. Through a great personal investment of time and energy, we maintained the Headship, creating a new record. And the squad of novices that I happened to be coaching at the same time did ok too, thanks for asking.
I am prepared to work hard, I learn fast and want to progress and do well. It's a two way process. You give me the opportunities and the support and I will be there, champing at the bit to get further up.
As demonstrated by my outstanding academic record, achievements in coxing, experiences in sales and my (ok, admittedly recently neglected) blog, I have excellent verbal and written communication skills. I am motivated, enthusiastic and determined to succeed.
I want that job. You know who you are, you whose application i went to fill out the other day and found that you already know a disconcertingly big brotherish amount about me (a trivial point this, but I am pretty sure you are treading a tight Data Protection Act line there).
So, if you happen to be reading this while considering me for interview, I hope that RBB keeps you entertained. Thanks for stopping by. I look forward to hearing from you soon.