Sunday, January 30, 2005


red betty got photo hosting! yeah baby!! Posted by Hello

Saturday, January 29, 2005

happy tree friends and friends

Well, I just wanted to say congrats to Boud and Fits for their Aussie blog awards wins and all that.
And nope, i am not a teeny shred jealous of Boud's photographic genius, naysireee.
*ahem*
one day i'll get photo hosting and then they'll be sorry.
In the meantime, go see his stuff, it rocks!
Also, while I'm on topic of blogiversity, I also like to hang out in that hive of urban activity that is Nadstown. And occasionally get lifecoaching from Jess at Ausculture.
You should too.
Obviously i kick around other blogs too and if i were technically proficient enough, i would even have links to them all. but i'm not, so i don't.

Friday, January 28, 2005

celesbians part deux .. *snicker*

Well.. always eager to please, I thought i'd whack up some more girlpics.
*smiles sweetly*

so, the next 10 then..

Cynthia Nixon



I know. You're wondering if collar and cuffs...? hehe..

ok.. erm..
who was it? oh yeah - Samantha Foxxxxxxx


lesbian page 3. man, it's a Sun reader's wet dream come true.

Amanda Barrie.. well, personally i think she is a dubious celeb, but hell, Susie's perversion must be indulged here ;)

wank material for my fans.. god, i bend over backwards for you guys..

Greta Garbo


I totally can't tell if that's a seduction look or she's just caned.

Hell! I forgot KD LANG!


hey, is anyone else seeing the Jarvis Cocker resemblance here??
check it out.


ok. where next? that chick from scissor sister i reckon.

The one on the right, if you're getting gender id confusion. It happens. Jeez, I ran into Courtney Act in Sydney and really really thought he was a girl for a while.

let's face it, the boy is convincing. not a lesbian though. i'm digressing..


ok, so Rosie O Donnell

Say it with her: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

crap, i'm only on 7 again..
hey, it's a dodgy one, but i need some eye candy
Ms. Barrymore. Who is your Charlie's Angel?
Mine is


In the same vein, Madonna
Oh come on. She totally is.

not just the tux, the two hot minimes she snogs but SO much more. She's also shagged Jenny Shimizu for one. I want to be Jenny Shimizu. Madge and Angelina. My god. And then there's that pic of her with Naomi Campbell
So she's married. SO WHAT?

Oh - Leisha Hailey. Uh-huh. I missed the L Word. I may well have to rent it. And the movie and everything..


I'm sure i got ten that time. but feel free to keep me posted on more girl action. cos, y'know, it toasts.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

boxing...

is the new black. and while i am keen to not appear to y'all to be some babybutch tomboy (ok, so I get off on girls fighting, riding motorbikes and using powertools as much as the next guy), boxing shits all. It RULES. No really. Kickboxing took a backbencher and I feel like a Million Dollars, Baby! No pun. Well, hell, of course there was, but jeeez, i'm allowed to exploit media coverage. In fact sweetheart, i can do what the fuck i like, it's my blog. Bite me. You love it you kinky minx.

Aaaanyways, before we get all carried away here, i thought i'd just indulge the boy preference for girls doing 'boy things' with more pics. Not at all another excuse to show Ms Jolie on this blog. No really..

So. Girls fighting first.
well, can't find a suitable Lara Croft kicking ass pic, so we'll just have her toting big guns instead:

ok, so I could have had Hilary Swank, but you wouldn't have been squirming in your pants quite so much, hey.

Next up, girls on bikes:


leather. tatts. a brilliant mounted bitchfight.
Torque really does have it all.

And finally, buttflossing ladies with pneumatic drills. You love it. I can tell by the way your hands are shaking.


I am surprised that Benny didn't make this video too:

Still. that was gratuitous.

The verdict? Girls doing boy things (je suis the only chick in my boxing gym) is a VERY BIG PLUS.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

the tale of red betty black and the homicidal terrorist..

best. weekend. eva.

hehe..

without wanting to be indiscreet or sound like i could possibly be bragging *ahem* lets just say the various fantasies of a friend of mine involving Betty in a weekend of sapphic hotness may well have come true.

brag over.

sadly, I did miss this killer gig at the Port Mahon. But hell, we will party with the band some other time. Because they rock. And their lead singer is supercute.
and it snowed!
hurray all round.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

gay boys.. and girls

Aren't gay men the best? This morning i woke up in a comfortable bed, having spent a pleasant evening stealing music, chatting and getting drunk. They cooked me scrambled eggs and delivered me a hot blonde in a towel. I wish every day was like this.
But anyway, as our conversation meandered through the crapness that is all the British election candidates to Little Britain and inevitable bitching about people we used to know, we came onto the topic of the Celesbian. Famous girls who like girls..
And there aren't that many of them. well.. not many that spring to mind. The challenge was set: Name 10 celesbians. a celesbian does not include academics or writers, so Sandi Toksvig is out. Basically they have to act/sing/play ball or some other sport.
Hmmm...ok, here goes.
First of, the enviably cute Portia Di Rossi and Francesca Gregorini

Next up.. errrm..
Ellen!

That's 3 and I'm struggling.. hang on
Martina Navratilova

all i can do is *shudder*
Number 5. Rhona Cameron.

and her sometime girlpal Sue Perkins

hey - i never identified this before, but i really need to start hanging out in comedy clubs!
ooh - personal favourite Fergie

yes, yes you would, and you know it. if you could. but you couldn't because hell, she's happy pinning me to this bed..
hang on, for a moment there i lost count... ahem.
Number 8
uuuhhhh...

ooh - I know! entering fantasyland now, but the delectable Ms Jolie.
well, ok, so she's not technically one, so i'll scrap it in favour of her exbeanbuddy, Jenny Shimizu

Not much denying that one.
Ok, now it's getting tough.
Our favourite Eastender only in real life, Pam St Clement


Who for number 10?? I need help people...
submit your celesbian here. Anyone considering Anne Heche need not apply.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

in the stars

How does that work then? How is it that Librans world over are indecisive pacifists, Pisceans are moody poets and fire signs are a bunch of arrogant attention seekers?
So anyway, i got sent this:

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious.
Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts.
Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children.
Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn
and money cautious.


So, you lot in January are picky, judgemental, stubborn x2, laconic, tight and can't form relationships.. Nice..

____________________________________ _________
FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental.
Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals.
Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive
and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes.Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside.
Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.


D'you reckon maybe the person that wrote this was born in February or just really doesn't like someone born in January??


_________________________________
MARCH:
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive.
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling.
Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors.
Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.


Submissive interior decorator will jump into bed with anyone who buys her something 'special'. Especially a scatter cushion.
Does this describe me?!


_____________________
APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret.
Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention.
Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous.
Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

April - you are a minger, but someone will overlook it and fuck you anyway. but if not, you find yourself attractive - why not go here.

____________________________
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated.
Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention.
Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck.
Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislikes being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.


God, it's not a great start for May, hey? Stubborn, hard, headstrong and angry. Bovine, one might think. Maybe the writer just looked up Taurean in a dictionary somewhere.. but hell, you are mentally and physically beautiful. In fact, I heart you, May.

_________________________________
JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and
soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind.
Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental.
Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative.
Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up.
Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.


June just stole your job. I say stole, but they deserved it. But you can console yourself with the fact that they're probably a transvestite.


_________________________________
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation.
Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings.
Tactful. Friendly. Approach able. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp.
Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends.Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.


July is a fat jabba. 'Fun to be with' is always a euphemism for that. like 'bubbly'. And poor July has dieting problems. Never forgets, just like an elephant. God, the lard jibes are thick and fast here, huh?!

_________________________________
AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Confused. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly.
Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream.
Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty.
Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .


August is Mr Slick. He just tried it on you in a bar, and then when you went to the toilet tried to cop off with your mate/sister/grandma. He only talks about himself and you should only talk about him too. Really.

________________________________
SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable.
Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.


September. You're a boring fuck, aren't you? Quiet, critical, dishonest, organized, emotionless. I bet you fold your underpants. Fuck, i bet you iron them first. Even the ones you've just taken off.


_____ ____________________________
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends.
Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance.
Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous.
Concerned.
Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.


The fundamental thing here is that you NEVER want to leave October alone with your kids. I mean look at the facts here; 'Loves those who loves them.' Crap grammar aside, you see what I'm saying. 'Does not care what others think'. I mean, just because society condemns it, doesn't mean it's wrong, does it?
And the giveaway - October Loves Childres. paedo = child, philos = love. Nuff said. Everyone born in October should be locked up now.


_________________________________
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality.
Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but
amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others.
Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises.
High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions.
Romantic.
Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities.
Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions.
Unpredictable


Ooh, that November's a bit kerayzee, don't you think? Oddball is not even the word. Difficult. Unique. Thinks differently from others. Not able to control emotions.
hmm. Good doctors you say? Institutionalisable.

_______________ ________
DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered.
Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates
restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical


Contrary to experience, it would appear that December kids are just a big barrel of laughs. Every moment's a game, a joke. Fuckers. i hate them.




Thursday, January 13, 2005

freedom of speech?

While it would be laughable of me to suggest for a second that the Church has ever been anything but an institution of hypocrisy and double standards, the latest godsquad overreaction takes it.
In reaction to the BBC's decision to show a recording of Jerry Springer - The Opera, godsquad activist group Christian Voice went all out to prevent the screening.
Culminating in threats of bloodshed and physical violence to the families of the execs involved. And they published their phone numbers and home addresses on the internet.
Now, call me obtuse, but WTF??!
Where in Christian doctrine does it suggest that abusing innocent people is an acceptable reaction to 'moral degeneration of society'?
If you can't beat em, join em, I spose.
And why the hell should TV be dumbed down to cater for mindnumbed morons who take offense at anything that picks holes in their ill-considered shallow beliefs anyway?
Don't even get me started on that play that got cancelled because sikhs were throwing bricks at the audience.
Freedom of speech?! Blog on!

Friday, January 07, 2005

Celebrity Big Bro

WHY did she do it? Prof Germaine Greer has entered the Big Brother house..

I am almost tempted to watch it now.

ipod

Taking a cue from Ausculture (well, they tell me what to do, see?) I thought about what is playing on my shiny new ipod. and then i remembered that I CAN'T FRICKING USE IT!!!!!!!!!
FUCKING CUNTING AMERICAN PIECE OF CRAP HARDWARE WITH FUCKING AMERICAN PLUG.

Oh yeah, i don't have a computer either.

Hey - advise me: Mac or PC????

I am totally not bendy enough

but hell, like everyone who watched Jump Britain last night, I want to take up Le Parkour
Ok, so not balanced, agile, strong or in any way fit enough, but hell, how much fun does it look?!


Another new year's res, mayhap: develop spidey powers...

Saturday, January 01, 2005

beginnings

After telling me about a hot lesbian doctor who has a kink for cutting people open and then stitching them up *this makes me incredibly horny*, the guy who was going to paint me naked is fleeing the country. shame. he's off to Morocco and Egypt and other jealousy inducing places.
leaving me alone in the wasteland of January with nothing but a barrage of hotmaking words for company.
salacious. lascivious. wanton. arouse.
filthy language. why can i not find a woman to whisper this kind of sordid dirt into my ears?

anyways, this is the beginning of the second half of the first decade of the third millennium since jesus. am spending it with two cute gay boys who cook for me and forcefeed me champagne. today we are going for tea in some very english tearooms in Oxford. i have been told that whatever you do on New Year's day you will spend the rest of the year doing and it is, apparently, kink free. where's Daryl Hannah when I need her?!
might have to pay a visit to my superhot singer friend who is now single. hurray!
and crashing on to resolutions. last year i didnt make any because i was going on an epic adventure and had no idea what the year would bring. but this year... well...
in theory i should say things like stop being so debauched, be nicer to my family and give more to charity. but debauchery is fun, my family are totally loving me being in the country so they've already got their bonus and until i get a job, charity is gonna have to wait i'm afraid. but i am completely humbled by the generosity of the Brits as regards the Earthquake Appeal. the government was forced to significantly up their pledge when the public donated far more than they had, meaning that the UK has now donated over 100 million pounds collectively.

so, resolutions are as follows:
learn something new - salsa, spanish, motorbike riding or something
go somewhere new - and hopefully catch up with some of the people i met last year
change my life significantly - develop superpowers? get a job? gaaah, this is crapcrapcrap..

this is depressing me now, resolutions are no fun. apu, entertaining suggestions please?!